A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the
Caribbean. It was the craziest thing he had ever done in his life. Just as
he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship,
capsizing it like a child's toy.
Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed
to wash ashore on a secluded island. Other than beautiful scenery, a spring-fed
pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours
on end, day after day, sat under the same palm tree.
One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat
appeared. "I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the
cruise ship, too?"
"Yes, I was," he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel
from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of
the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln,
it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But,
enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see
any shelter."
"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded
dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the
boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They
walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
"It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down, please; would
you like to have a drink?"
"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!"
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back,
so we can have authentic Piña Coladas."
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on
her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me,
have you always had a beard?"
"No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on
this island."
"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and
shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor-sharp. Next he
showered--not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm
water into the bathroom--and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but
admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into
something more comfortable." As she did, the man continued to sip his
Piña Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of
gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded
palm fronds.
"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time
with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely...is
there anything that you really, really miss? Something that all men and
woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now?"
"Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is
something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it
was just... well, it was impossible."
"Well, it's not impossible any more," the woman said.
The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean
you actually figured out some way we can check our e-mail?"
Submitted by reader C.K.