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List: Biblical methods of obtaining a wife

The Bible offers a number of alternatives to the bar scene and personal ads for those men wishing to settle down and marry:

  • Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
  • Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses, Exodus 2:16-21)
  • Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz, Ruth 4:5-10)
  • Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Benjaminites, Judges 21:19-25)
  • Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. (Adam, Genesis 2:19-24)
  • Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right: fourteen years of toil for a wife. (Jacob, Genesis 29:15-30)
  • Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. (David, 1 Samuel 18:27)
  • Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) (Cain, Genesis 4:16-17)
  • Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes or Ahasuerus, Esther 2:3-4)
  • When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." (Samson, Judges 14:1-3)
  • Kill any husband and take his wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). (David, 2 Samuel 11)
  • Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) (Onana and Boaz, Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
  • Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon, 1 Kings 11:1-3)

Submitted by reader J.S.

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