The real value of Whole Foods

Part of why enshittification happens is economic consolidation: large companies buy up small companies until there are so few companies that they don't really compete. We're at peak merger right now because the Democrats are weighing conglomerates twice and finding them lacking: when we get control of the government (my bet is on 2031 but it could be sooner), we're cracking trusts.

At least we still have some rudimentary anti-trust protections, which is why Kroger and Albertson's didn't get to merge. The effect of that merger on much of the Midwest would have been absolutely horrific. In Chicago, for example, the two chains dominate grocery sales, with most of the city's Mariano's (Kroger) locations slated for closing had the merger gone through.

Both store chains have reputations for low prices, especially compared with Whole Foods Market, owned by Amazon. I'm here to tell you that these reputations are unfounded, and I believe they come from the perceptions that Jewel-Osco's and Mariano's stores are cheap, while their prices are nearly the same as Whole Foods'. Also, Mariano's and Jewel-Osco both sell mass-market products that Whole Foods doesn't sell, so people who want, say, a $2 can of Spaghetti-Os will only find a $5 can of something actually from Italy at Whole Foods.

I'm not going to publish reams of data on like-for-like comparisons; those exist elsewhere.¹

Trader Joe's and Whole Foods have cleaner stores, wider aisles, more working carts, ample numbers of handbaskets, and have big, old-fashioned paper bags if you forget to bring your own. They also have better lighting, more attractive displays, and better produce. But there are things you can't get at TJ's or WFM that you can only get at a mass-market store like Mariano's, so I have to go there about once a month to stock up.

Jewel and Mariano's are also wildly inconsistent. The Jewel closest to my house is unacceptable except in emergencies, but the one over on Lincoln just below Montrose is fine. Mariano's tend to be a bit better and more consistent, but they're still not nearly as pleasant as WFM or TJ's.

There's one other thing that Mariano's and Jewel do that neither Trader Joe's nor Whole Foods does: both of the mass-market grocery stores treat people like delinquent children. Observe this self-checkout message, which I see at Mariano's evey damn time I go there:

Why was "help on the way?" Because I dropped my shopping list into my bag, and the software decided I was shoplifting.

Jewel's self-checkout behaves the same way. Use your own bag? "Please scan all items before placing them in the bagging area. Help is on the way." Buy alcohol of any kind? Someone has to come over and scan your drivers license. (Whole Foods lets the attendant click "ID valid" and move on. Trader Joe's doesn't have self-checkout, and their checkers are allowed to look at my gray beard and balding head and decide I was born in the 1900s.) Finish ringing things up? Jewel gives you several prompts to donate money to this or that, while Mariano's just wants you to confirm that you've scanned all your items. Then both Mariano's and Jewel take you through the complicated process of tapping your credit card or phone in the right place, collecting your receipt, and of course reminding you not to forget your groceries as you leave! Whole Foods does none of those things, though if you buy anything in a container that you packed, like a salad, the scanner wants to know if you'll be dining here today.

Oh, and if I scan my Amazon app at any time while checking out at Whole Foods, it (a) uses the card I have on file and (b) emails me a detailed receipt automatically. Neither Jewel nor Mariano's does either of those things, even though they track the data anyway through my credit card number.

Trader Joe's uses human beings without a self-checkout option. I have no problem with that, because TJ's also staffs their tills with enough people who have enough training that it's just as fast. Actually, compared with Jewel or Mariano's, it's faster, because TJ's checkers don't have to stop every third item to make sure I'm not trying to steal anything, and TJ's checkers are confident that I am not a drooling simian without the cognitive processing power necessary to figure out how to tap my credit card on the POS device.

Clearly, neither Albertson's nor Kroger cares that I and other non-criminal, functionally-literate people find their treatment ennervating. But as someone who knows how to use and spell the word "ennervating," I want to say to both companies that I absolutely hate going to your stores and will happily drive the additional 3 kilometers to Whole Foods for just about everything I put in my pantry or fridge.

Seriously, with Trader Joe's opening in my own apartment building this Thursday, I might just go there all the time. A two-minute walk beats a can of Spaghetti-Os every time.